A couple of weeks back, I happened to attend this seminar on Body Language and its affects on our surroundings. It was undoubtedly pretty informative, like that lady said, non verbal communication is far more important than verbal.
She claimed, that sometimes what you speak doesn’t have any potential impact on people if they don’t get the right aura from you.
Your posture, gestures, eyes contact etc. etc.
Although, during her session I was also having a separate conference in my own mind on a round table with my various thoughts sitting across, facing each other, in grave seriousness and they were all initially skeptical of her claims.
Which means, I think sometimes, if you can master the art of using the right words, you do not need to rely on actions. If what you only need is to get your job done because of course if you groan and yell ‘I love you’ with froth bubbling in your mouth and bloodshot eyes, the listener would probably call the police rather than loving you back.
Anyway, apart from this, she talked about hugs. Yep. The most awkward gesture ever invented in the entire human history. I’m telling my personal opinion, I find hugs massively awkward and I’m almost terrified of them. I don’t even know why. It’s more like an innate thing. I mean of course if someone offers me a hug I graciously accept it and give it back. But I always thought they were unnecessary, like do you really need to rub your body with someone else’s body to feel fulfilled?
My friends grow really resentful when I justify myself. But they also kinda feel sorry for me, especially the ones with a boyfriend. They say it’s one of the most ‘re-assuring’ feelings. And then I start feeling sorry for myself too.
And the ‘God of Questions’ rises again with a notepad and asks,
“What if it really is a coveted comfort and somehow because you’re so cold, you’re deprived of it?”
“Go away ..stupid God of Questions.” I shrug.
It’s true. I have never experienced that ‘warm, fuzzy, protective, secure and loving feeling’ people claim they get when they hug. Maybe because I haven’t yet stood at the airport with tears sliding down my cheeks to bid farewell to my boyfriend who’s going abroad for studies/job and even though our destiny is tied together I still miss every inch of him and then everything goes into slow motion as we give ‘THE HUG.’
BUT, coming back to the point, she (the seminar lady) gave some fine points to prove the powers of a hug. (She must really love to hug.)
First, she said,
“Have you ever noticed how a baby, when he’s restless and anxious after getting into his mother or father’s arms, eventually stops crying? How he suddenly feels protected? Warm? At ease? Comforted?”
(Seriously, a baby knows better than me.)
Second, she says that sometimes when we see someone sitting cross armed, it signifies:
1) They’re either not open to any kind of conversation or arguments.
2) They’re insecure. Depending on the situation. That’s why that crossing of hands is a sort of hug for themselves, to feel protected. They don’t realise this, of course.
Now this rung a bell in me. Very interesting thought. I still wondered how completely aghast she would be if I told her my opinions about hugs. I can imagine her pinning me under her arms and yelling,
“Feel it! Feel it you foolish girl! Feel the love!”
Even though I still haven’t been completely able to be comfortable around this idea, I’ll try and dig a little more into this. See if it really works. See if I’m mentally handicapped to understand such high levels of emotion. Or I’m just not designed that way.
Meanwhile, has anyone had that ‘another world’ experience while hugging here? Let me know!