I stared at my salary today. Yes, I stared at it for at least 10 minutes. And in those 10 minutes I drifted back to the year 2001 and found this little girl with two pony-tales, balancing on her toes; desperately trying to look over a counter way above her height. She can see boxes, cylindrical boxes full of glimmering wrappers of candies and chocolates and her eyes twinkle at the view. She looks at her mom and she hands her as many candies as her little palms could hold.
She made her day.
That little girl was me.
Today I could buy as many boxes of candies as I can, but I don’t want to. When I was a little girl, whenever I went to any store with my mom, I used to think and promise myself that when I grow up and have my own money I’m going to buy all these damn chocolates and candies.
This thought struck me as lightening. It’s amazing isn’t it? How priorities change over time. How 10 years back a little square of chocolate could have made my day, and a new set of crayons made me gleam with pride, but today I have so many things I wish for and even though I can go and purchase everything I ever wanted when I was a little girl- I WON’T.
I’m still staring at those bills.
It’s a little hard to register how we no longer whine for an ice-cream every time we pass by an ice-cream truck or pass by a balloon man and yearn for one. We no more get delighted when our paper plane makes it successfully across the room .. hell we don’t even make a paper plane now. We no more get giddy when we graciously receive the ‘Return Gift’ in a birthday party- or wait, when was the last time we had a birthday that was not celebrated in a restaurant or a club?
PRIORITIES are crazy. How everything changed from ‘Toy-Telephones‘ to ‘I-Phones’ and from bicycles to bikes-I’ll never understand. How now when we say ‘APPLE’ we think of the brand rather than the fruit and how that little apple with a bite scrunched away has become a symbol for our status in society.
Why is it that when I was 4 years old, everything I ever wanted was candies and Santa and stickers and every single rupee I ever got was spent in ‘REQUESTING’ my mom to buy me the aforementioned delights. And when I had those, I never wanted anything more. But today, my desire for ‘things’ is endless. The ‘VALUE’ of money has shifted to the extent that the number of ‘zeros’ affixed to a digit describes its weightage.
When earlier I used to jump with joy over a 1 rupee coin I accidentally found while rummaging through my backpack; I no longer get joyous when I receive an income or pocket-money. Somehow it isn’t always enough.
Why don’t I desire for candies now when I can buy as many as I want? Why the idea of ‘what more can be bought’ appeals to me more? MORE-Why do I want more? Maybe the answer you’ve come up with is-
“Because you’re all grown up and you understand the tortuousness and complexities of life?!”
I agree. That thought occurred to me as well.
But I wonder that in the coming years when I’m all grown up with a proper job and a considerable income, would I ever look back to this day while I was staring at my bills wondering why I don’t desire for candies any more?
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Would my so called ‘Income’ seem very meager at that point? Would I have fulfilled everything I ever wanted when I was 18? Or did mankind create more ‘desires’ and gadgets and standards to adhere to?
The more we have; the more we want.
To all those who’re stable, are earning and are happy with their lives,
DO YOU STILL DESIRE FOR CANDIES?