Teachings from Dad #1

images

My father and I are very alike. In case of our demeanor, humor, love for music, our ‘mighty rage’ , our shared habit of thinking too much, argumentative and debating skills, this is often thrown at me, “You’re a spitting image of your father,” or “God, you’re just like you dad.” Needless to say, I’m proud of it.

Me and dad used to have these ‘evening-teaching/discussion’ sessions where we used to talk about everything that is current (yes, girls usually have these talks with their mum-but my case is a little different). Now these sessions have become more frequent as papa believes that I’ll be heading out of town and will be on my own pretty soon, so he’s ‘training’ me for the things that lie ahead.

How I have to deal with potholes in the form of hypocrites standing with a wide smile, claiming they’re my friends.

My father says- “Always think about yourself first because the world is very cruel out there and will squash you like a grape the first chance it gets.” Hence, disregarding the old stereotypical quote “Always put others happiness first.”

You must be thinking he’s misguiding me, then I might as well say think again. Times have changed. The world is not a warm, cuddly crib that’ll welcome you with open arms and snooze you in a warm blanket and feed you blueberry pie. People will look for every ounce of opportunity to take advantage of you in every way. A single way they think you’re benefiting them- You’re their favorite, the moment their purpose is fulfilled, Bam! you’re a stranger.

Although I’m not as mature as him it’s sad to say I’ve already had an experience regarding this and it gave me an intense lesson, and let me tell you, I’m very good at learning those. I didn’t tell him about my ‘High-School’ experience while he talked of more grave things, of course, and chose to listen to him.

He said, “It scares me how you’re so much like me. I can’t see people taking advantage of your ‘putting others first’ behavior because I’ve been through that my entire life.”

You see, what happened was, when my dad was young he did everything for everyone. From carrying bags for the constant swarm of relatives that ‘vacationed’ at my ancestral home to sacrificing the three things he feels are essential to sustain life- Health, Wealth and Mind. He used up these three powers all in his youth for his cousins, friends and other ‘relatives’ in hopes that one day when the time comes when he needs it  THEY WILL BE RETURNED BACK by those who took it, but it never happened.

They accumulated all they could, sat on an express train and waved goodbye while leaving my father on a passenger one. (Lol, my dad used this expression). So he taught me to be kind and helpful, but not to be blindly selfless too. The world is too brutal to acknowledge these virtues. And it’s true, I’ve grown and seen that eventually no one really gives a crap about you-apart from your blood-and sometimes even they turn their backs. The world is entirely resting on the framework of ‘Give and Take’ –TAKE dominating the principle.

Take the example of WordPress. People don’t read or like or comment on your posts until YOU do even if they love it and have a constant itch to appreciate it (the itch, that comes from the little fire of kindness that they managed to suppress).

You have to know when you have to put yourself first. Learn to say No to people (which I was very bad at, before) and be very particular and aware of when it is time to draw the line. As morally sad as it may sound but “Oh, May I do this for you?” “Here, let me help” “Oh, shall I help you pick up those?” is not always reciprocated back.

Again, if you’re thinking “Hey, that’s not the case!” then either you’re very lucky that you haven’t bumped across such kind of people or you’re still living in your fickle bubble of lollipops and Candi Canes. This is the 21st Century people or as widely said in Hindu mythology ‘Kalyug’ the “Age of Downfall.” 

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Teachings from Dad #1

  1. how freaky is it that my dad says stuff like that too..? and we’re both super argumentative too 😛
    my mum hides out in the bedroom when me and dad are having one of our talks 😛

    Like

  2. Although I do agree with the vast majority of what you said, I am on the fence about acknowledging that the entire world is a devil onto itself, and in order to survive, we have to reciprocate the same. Allow me the rudeness to ask that what difference there remains if we too turn into something that we are criticizing vehemently here?
    I will be the “HUMAN” that I am to be, regardless that I’m surrounded by empty skeletons.
    Though, thanks for the post. It deals with the bitter reality.

    Like

    • The entire motive of this post was to let people know that sometimes it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to be like always sacrificing, especially for people who don’t give it back. And regardless of what arguments people put forward saying that ‘How are we different then?’ they’re themselves aware that sadly, this world has become a huge ball of wit and slyness. You’ll end up being crushed and broken if you don’t think for yourself.

      At every point people test you. Think of it this way, everyone around you currently, is benefiting from you in some way. I’m not talking about family, but others. And if it weren’t for that benefit, they wouldn’t be there.

      God helps those who are kind and ‘HUMAN’ not those who are foolish. You see what you’re saying is not wrong. But it would have been applicable in olden times when people actually talked to people instead of sending friend requests and messages.

      Yeah, I know. These kind of issues just get on your nerves, don’t they?

      Like

      • Here, we all are singing in the praise of the jolly good old times, forgetting that it’s us who had once created it all. And with a will and a purpose, we can recreate it. It’s not in my hand or in your hand to rebuilt a world where mottoes like “one for all and all for one” are more than just meaningless sentences. However, we must not forget about the power of a common man. The best to be is a beauty with brains. Don’t run down people for your benefits, but don’t let yourself be run down by people too.
        I think we both will agree. (Stepping over for a virtual handshake) 🙂

        Like

  3. Hmm, this post gets me thinking a little bit.

    “Times have changed. The world is not a warm, cuddly crib that’ll welcome you with open arms and snooze you in a warm blanket and feed you blueberry pie.”
    It was never like that. XD This world sucks, it really does.

    But, it’s because many people, especially the higher-ups, are too selfish. They want the money, they want the power and are willing to take others down for it. That’s why there’s wars over land and over money, why countries invade others, and why people hurt and kill each other, to satisfy whatever is in themselves. That’s lust, a strong, self-pleasing craving.

    But to consider everyone in that same worldly mindset? No, not everyone. Not everyone will try and take advantage of you. Not everyone will only do nice things to you because they want something back.

    Look, I wish I could be in the place to tell you what’s right, but I’m still trying to get there. There is such thing as true love, where people are absolutely willing to go to the end of the world to make sure that you’re happy, safe, and joyful. It’s all too easy to assume that in the end, no one will care, but there are those that are willing to sacrifice themselves, because not everyone is into this “Dog-eat-Dog” mindset.

    Yea, it’s true that this world is fudged up, because there’s too many takers, and not enough givers. And I’m still a bit on the taker side, but I don’t wanna be! And I agree that this is the Age of Downfall, because of people don’t transform their mindset away from this selfish attitude, then this world is going to end real fast.

    We’re already addicted to entertaining ourselves with technology, money, sex and drugs. Like really, I saw some videos last year on Black Friday (where all the stores go on “sale”), and saw mobs of people jumping over each other for those 3D HD TVs. People trample over each other all the time in business as well to get as much money as possible. People sell drugs to make that money, and boy do we love to smoke and get drunk! People cut themselves to make themselves feel better. And men (and women) take advantage of the opposite gender all of the time, especially in places like southeast Asia, through prostitution, and people in our countries are being raped by others.

    But like I said, there are people on this planet that strive not to even associate with that selfishness.

    Don’t get mad at me for typing this. ._.

    Like

    • “But to consider everyone in that same worldly mindset? No, not everyone. Not everyone will try and take advantage of you. Not everyone will only do nice things to you because they want something back.”

      I KNOW not everyone is gonna do that, but majority of the world is that way. What he solely meant was do things for people who’re willing to do all that for you in return. And the people who love you will go to any ends for you. Why isn’t anyone noticing that in my post?

      Take high school for example. Atherz, how many ‘FRIENDS’ do you have? How many people in your ‘SCHOOL’ are actually willing to do anything for you, or if not anything at least make a small little sacrifice for you? OR how many people in your school will you do anything for? (Let’s exclude Mo :P) But your mom will, won’t she? She loves you unconditionally-expecting nothing in return and so will your future girlfriend/wife (bless that thought). Get the point? We’re talking about the WORLD in general. The workplace, the subways, buses, trains-people won’t think of you first.

      WORKPLACE.

      Boss: Okay, Liam (assume) you have a choice. You can either have your salary revised or your ‘colleague’ Atherz salary revised.
      Do you possibly think he’ d go for you? Just because he’s a good person or because he’s your friend? No. Because he’d be foolish to do so.

      You’re willing to do anything for Mo aren’t you? But she did say No for the homecoming dance didn’t she? (It’s irrelevant here, but think about it). You’re willing to cross oceans for her, will she do the same? THAT’S the point. Cross oceans for people who’ll if not cross oceans but at least help you when you need them.

      Maybe my dad is wrong, but only because the world hasn’t been really good to him so far. Hence, he doesn’t want the same to happen to me, like every father wouldn’t.

      I’m sorry, this is a very negative thought and we should not lose our faith in the world completely, but that’s the harsh reality. Look he wasn’t trying to turn me into some brutal monster who goes around not giving a crap about people, what he only meant was to not Go Blind in the process and lose your own value. You CAN love SOMEONE blindly but not EVERYONE.

      Again I repeat,
      “So he taught me to be kind and helpful, but not to be blindly selfless too.” 🙂

      P.s- I’m always up for a healthy debate. 🙂

      Like

      • I rest my case, you’re right. XD

        By the way, I would not cross oceans for her, because it would not be worth it. It wouldn’t be worth it if somehow all of the effort was in vain, and that’s a deep fear that I have.

        And a seperate instance, I was bored Sunday, so I did a little experiment: Texting two people to see who would respond back first. My guy friend responded after 5 hours; Mo, the other, didn’t at all. So, if I really needed someone’s help, they would definitely not be on the emergency list.

        So yeah, excluding those like parents at that future spouse, more likely than not, people wouldn’t move out of their way to help you. Perhaps because they don’t know you personally, or that they don’t notice, or they are selfish. If the overall lesson is to not put too much trust in anybody, especially people you just met, then I agree with that.

        Liked by 1 person

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s